Allegation: I initiated the relationship with Y at a conference

I approached Y at a conference only because Dr Heather Miller asked me to encourage her within the Scala community; for no ulterior reason. We developed a genuine and mutual friendship based on common interests, which became romantic only later, over the course of eight weeks, almost exclusively through online interactions. I felt that the words and photos Y sent me became increasingly romantic. When we met in Berlin, I was not in any doubt that Y wanted an intimate relationship, and she reciprocated when I kissed her.

”Jon Pretty has abused his position of privilege and stature within the Scala community to sexually harass and victimize women. He has used the community’s conferences to target women who are new to the Scala community, offering mentorship, access, and other forms of support, and then abusing the trust that he has established.” Open letter of support for community members targeted by Jon Pretty

Timeline

In Y’s publication of 27 April 2021 the reader is encouraged to believe that I initiated the relationship. To show that this is a reasonable interpretation, I used ChatGPT 5 to analyze her words.

ChatGPT's interpretation of Y's publication

This characteration is misleading.

Our relationship started as a friendship, on 18 March 2018 at the Northeast Scala Symposium. I did not take any romantic interest in Y, and I did nothing to suggest that I was interested in her in any way other than professionally. She sent me 8 emails and I sent her 5 over the following month. Our friendship developed after we met again at ScalaSphere on 15 April 2018 and we began sending each other direct messages using Facebook Messenger.

Between 17 April 2018—when we were certainly not in a romantic relationship—and 15 May 2018, when we certainly were, we exchanged 13,170 direct messages, similar in word count to Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein or Mark Twain’s The Adventures of Tom Sawyer.

During this time, we also had video calls lasting 10½ hours, longer than a whole season of The Crown or the total runtime of the three Lord of the Rings movies.

The relationship developed gradually, naturally and mutually over one month. I admired Y’s energy and enthusiasm. And I liked that we shared a common interest. By the time we met again on 15 May 2018, it was already clear to me that our relationship had become romantic, even though we had not been explicit about this. I was excited about it, and I had every hope that it would last; I did not want a brief relationship.

If anyone shows hesitance, it’s Jon ⦗...⦘ This hint of caution suggests Jon was initially guarded ⦗...⦘ whereas 21-year-old Y seems less concerned, even joking that age is just a “silly” number. ChatGPT 5

I do not consider that Y did anything wrong in her interactions with me. I could have disengaged if I had wanted to. She could have disengaged if she had wanted to. Neither of us did.

Objective Analysis

Y’s representation appears inconsistent with mine. Since our relationship developed almost exclusively through direct messages over the course of one month, which I have a full record of, I asked ChatGPT to analyze them.

”Y eagerly reciprocates — she’s enthusiastic, flirtatious, and quick to engage in deep, frequent conversation. If anyone shows hesitance, it’s Jon” ChatGPT 5

ChatGPT 5 "deep research" analysis of 13,170 text messages exchanged between Y and me

Furthermore, Y claims that our relationship was not romantic.

This is not consistent with ChatGPT’s analysis of the conversation. Moreover, during that time, Y sent me around 35 photographs of herself, while I sent only four photos of myself to her. She sent me 15 distinct photos of herself before I sent my first photo. I did not request any of the photos, directly or indirectly.

“No, it was not a romantic relationship. I was going to Berlin to attend ⦗the⦘ Typelevel conference, not to go on any dates.” Y, My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

These photos were private, and it is unnecessary to reproduce them here. I provided ChatGPT with the 39 photos (every photo exchanged before 15 May 2018 showing either Y or me) and asked it to summarize them.

ChatGPT 5 "deep research" analysis of 35 photographs sent by Y to me, and 4 photos sent by me to Y

While Y expressed herself by frequently sending photos (mostly “selfies”), I only reciprocated minimally.

Sharing Accommodation

During our online conversations, I invited Y to share an AirBnb with me—and potentially other people, on 21 April 2018, 23 days before the conference. However, this followed conversations we had in-person at the ScalaSphere conference in Kraków on 17 April 2018.

“Y’s frequent, enthusiastic selfies drive the exchange, showing affection and desire for closeness. Jon’s participation is far less frequent and emotionally guarded, but his contributions suggest growing trust.” ChatGPT 5

There was context for that earlier conversation: almost every speaker at ScalaSphere had stayed in shared AirBnb accommodation. However, Y was a late addition to the program, and had been assigned a hotel room because there were no free rooms in the shared accommodation.

During the conference, she visited some of the shared accommodation, and felt like she had “missed out” on a fun, communal opportunity—which she had. She was very enthusiastic about staying with other people, and we talked, more than once, about sharing accommodation at a later (unspecified) conference.

Here is the conversation where I ask her.

Note how, during our conversation, Y does not hesitate in her response. She appeared enthusastic about the idea, and it was something we had already discussed four days previously.

I had no romantic interest in Y at the time I proposed sharing accommodation. I had not contemplated it. I proposed sharing accommodation because we had agreed to do that four days before. I was also interested in reducing my own travel costs. At that time, Typelevel had confirmed a budget for Y’s travel and accommodation, whereas I expected to cover my own costs. (Typelevel later invited me to speak and agreed to pay my costs.) I hoped and expected that we could find more people to stay.

”You probably won’t stay in Berlin as long, I am not sure what your plan is. Maybe we could share a place while you’re there. ⦗...⦘ Excited to see Berlin and you!” Y, email proposing accommodation in Berlin

Y emailed me later the same day with links to several AirBnb apartments she found in Berlin that we could stay in. I would infer from her proactive emails that she was excited about the idea.

Email from Y to me, proposing several accommodation options; 21 April 2018

Sleeping arrangements

I arrived at the AirBnb accommodation just after midnight on 14/15 May 2018. Y had arrived several hours earlier, though her luggage had been lost by her airline and she was missing several items of clothing and a phone charger.

The AirBnb host had messaged me to ask about our sleeping arrangements, which I had not answered until the morning we were due to arrive. Since that was too late, the host told me she assumed we would be sharing one bed, and had not prepared the second bed, but confirmed where the bedding was to make the second bed. I passed this message verbatim on to Y in a direct message on 11 May and again by email on 13 May.

During the time Y was alone at the apartment before I arrived, she did not take the initiative to prepare the second bed.

Before my Arrival in Berlin

Y arrived at around 14.00 in Berlin, and went to our accommodation. Her baggage had been lost by her airline, so she was a little anxious about being in a foreign country without most of her clothes and phone charger.

We exchanged messages shortly after she arrived, and she noticed that there was only one bed prepared.

After my Arrival

When I arrived at the accommodation just after midnight on 14/15 May 2018, Y was waiting for me. We sat together in the living room. We talked for a few minutes, facing each other. I asked her if she wanted to sit next to me, and she moved. I turned and kissed her. She did not do anything to stop me. She did not move away. She responded by kissing me back. I would not have initiated it if I had not been certain that it was what she wanted, and her response confirmed this.

One of the first things that Y said to me afterwards was, “are we going to have sex?” I was surprised by the question. I thought the question did not need to be asked, because I would have preferred less certainty and less pressure on both of us. In response I said, “we don’t have to”. I remember my response well, because I felt I sounded noncommittal and even pathetic, and was embarrased about it afterwards.

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Initial contact

I first approached Y at a conference on 18 March 2018 with a view to encouraging her to participate more in the community. I was not the only person who tried to encourage Y to participate more in the community.

Email from Dr Heather Miller to me during which she asks me to encourage Y to participate more in the Scala community.

This email followed a longer discussion between me, Dr Miller and Daniela Sfregola. I initiated the discussion with Ms Sfregola and Dr Miller because I had been asked by the organizers of ScalaSphere to help find female speakers for their conference.

Their keynote speaker, Jamie Allen, had warned that he might cancel his talk if their program did not include at least one female speaker. At that time, there was not a single woman we knew who worked in tooling for Scala, which was the topic of the conference. This made it difficult to satisfy Mr Allen’s request with a talk that was also relevant to the conference.

I approached Y on 18 March 2018 at the Northeast Scala Symposium, after I noticed her name badge during a meeting. I assumed that Dr Miller had also told her to expect to meet me, and that she would have noticed my name badge, but was surprised that she wasn’t aware. Y later told me that she wondered why I kept smiling at her.

Dr Miller messaged me again on Twitter on 13 April 2018 to reiterate her request:

This additional request from Dr Miller encouraged me to spend more time with Y at ScalaSphere than I otherwise would have.

On Y’s last day in Kraków, I stayed awake until late in the night, talking with her and Dr Guillaume Martres in the apartment he and I were sharing with two others. I walked with her across the city to make sure she reached her late-night train to Warsaw Airport on time.

Mentorship

I was explicitly asked by Dr Miller to offer Y mentorship. This is something that Dr Miller knew I was able to do, and she knew that Y could benefit from it.

However, the only conversation I had with Y that could be described as mentorship took place during the evening at around 5pm on 14 April 2018. I listened to Y run through her presentation for around 30 minutes.

The content of her talk was good and she presented it well. The only recommendation I made was a correction to an English proverb (“Too many cooks spoil the broth”), which she was misquoting.

I did not, at any other time before I ended our relationship, give her formal or informal mentorship or any other form of teaching. I was not paid for anything of the sort. While it is true that I originally met Y to offer mentoring, I provided so little and it was so detached from our relationship that it did not feel relevant to the relationship at all. I did, however, help Y with Scala in the six months after I ended our romantic relationship.

We were not in a mentor/mentee relationship, and I did not exploit any such relationship.

My Request

If you signed the Open Letter in 2021 because you found Y’s publication compelling, please reconsider her words in light of the evidence above.

Her post was hugely damaging to me. The complete absence of due process meant that none of her claims were ever verified with me before they were published.

If, like many others, you feel like justice may not have been rightly served, you can make a meaningful step towards helping me get my life back by removing your name. I am grateful for your consideration.

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Allegation 2 »